Published: 2025-10-31
Last Updated: 2025-10-31
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Asking someone for sex is no different than other human activities that require an additional participant. It doesn't hurt to ask, despite occasional dissapointment, and the worst that can happen is no. Some requests are a lot more complicated than others, sex through proxy is a concept that requires sex participants to define a waiting period before a new partner is sought or interacted with. This creates a context of non-consent in the sexual interactions when the waiting period is not followed.
Waiting Periods
For many people these waiting periods are 2-4 weeks but can be as long as 6 months to 1 year or even in excess of 1.5 years. Some people go 5 years in between partners. Relationships of 2-3 years with a 6 month waiting period are also common. However, periods of being single for 3-5 years is not unheard of. This can result in 6 relationships over 20 years for most people. It is a contrast to dating someone new each weekend and not keeping track of numbers.
Most people will not answer extensive interviews on sexual history. Their sexual history is covered by health privacy, and part of consent for many adults is not breaching a partners medical records. People with ongoing healthcare are aware of how to communicate medical risk to a potential partner, and if they are not consenting to sex, requesting, or making an invitation, there is no need for their medical records.
A two question interview, helps speed things along, people in adult areas tend to be ethical when a person can identify them as a bio-contaminent.
This can help screen out 60% to 75% of potential sexual partners for most people. While people that are into dating are often weary of long term emotional connections, people seeking relationships are sometimes concerned with transmitted infections.
The next part of the interview can be summarized in a few questions for daters and within 3-4 dates for those seeking relationships.
This can have a lot of conceptual simulations for people. One of the concepts is availability which will vary. For those seeking dating, availability is often a simple question of "can I call you again?" or "are you sampling?". For those seeking relationships, availability may be time off that they can spend together. This can be work, school, or other commitments. Having other commitments that seem like a relationship can cause jealousy or resentment and its helpful to be honest about having multiple relationships within the first few dates.
This can be hundreds of things or just a few. It can include things like diet, hygeine, income levels, family commitments, number of friends, willingness to reallocate time, alcohol consumption, sleep patterns, and smoking or non smoking.
Even people that are dating more often then they are in a relationship may have preferences that may not seem to matter for someone they will only spend 1-2 nights with. However if they are asking it may be important to answer truthfully or avoid the question. Avoiding the question and having the other person continue with the request or invite, indicates that there is a consent in not knowing.
Its not considered rude to have certain things that are not decisionable without an answer. No answer means no. There is also an implied privacy in these conversations.
Some people can have sex 4-5 times per day, others prefer 15-20 times per year, or even 2-3 times per year. While this seems like an important conversation for those seeking relationships, it might be relevant for those that can have sex multiple times per day to discuss this with partners even if they are in dating groups or areas. They may be in a dating area but only visit with 1 person per weekeend and only a few times per year.