Published: 2025-11-01
Last Updated: 2025-11-01
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Screening periods can be 2-3 weeks for people in relationships. They have a lot more requirements than people that are dating before making a decision on sex. Outside of anti-authoritarian cultures, with reverse psychologists as their policy makers; this is a pretty straight forward conversation.
People need to have a general level of comfort reached before they are comfortable with sharing their sexuality or intimate interactions with another human. If a person does not meet that level of comfort, the sexual interaction can be viewed as coerced, if they were dishonest in an agreement for sex, that can also be viewed as a coerced form of sex.
The two question screening
This can be almost any two questions, any two questions regarding a definite no. If a person has two no's regarding their level of attractiveness and ability to meet comfort levels in an invitation for sex; its highly likely that sex with them will not be pleasant, that being around them afterward may be uncomforable, and that finding a new partner may end up being awkward.
Time schedule and frequency
This is an important set of questions for many couples. How often are you available, and how frequently do you think of sex?
Do your schedules line up? Is the frequency level compatible? Think, someone that likes sex about 2-3 time a year in a relationship with someone who needs sex a few times each week. Immediately without not knowing anything else about the relationship, there is an incompatibility that can lead to relationship problems. For many people, this is a good place to stop persuing the relationship because it can lead to duress or antagonization in sex requests and neglect of sexual desires.
Compare this to a potential couple whose sex drive is measured at once every 2-3 weeks and 1-2 times every 4-5 weeks. This is more compatible because it might be twice in a 4 week period and it might be twice in a 6 week period. Even though there might be some waiting and catching up, there is some room for compromise, and relationships are often about flexibility and working things out. There is a difference, but it might be compatible. This can move on to the next stage of dating for most relationship specialists.
Preferences
This is often the longest part of the screening process for most couples on the 2nd and 3rd date. While it can include conversations on sexual preferences, most often it is conversations on life preferences. What are you into? What do you do when you get mad? Is your job stressful? Do you go out with your friends a lot or a little? How often do you stay home? What type of foods do you eat? Do you work out or go to the gym?
Most dates tend to last 4-5 hours and its not necessary to ask all the questions that can be thought of during the first 10 minutes of screening date. A few questions every 30-45 minutes is more normal. 1-2 questions per hour may seem a little slow, some people like that, statistically, a few more questions is preferred.
Dates that last 1-2 hours can seem a little more like a business meeting, or talking to a random person at an event meeting area. Because dry dating became popular, there are places where people go hang out to see if they can make a friend. Its fun to talk about if anything else and people can sometimes leave with a phone number to schedule an actual date.
The last date is the most confidential and can include some uncomfortable questions. How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you had? Are you into open relationships? Do you use condoms? Have you ever had an STD? Are you into a specific type of sex activity? What do you fantasize about? Do you think I'm attractive?
While many people are usually nervous on the last date, it can end up in a request for more dates, an invitation to consider a relationship, an invite to an apartment or more quiet area, or a definite no.
The last date doesn't neccessarily have to end in an invtation for sex. A lot of people seeking relationships take 1-2 months before deciding on whether the date is a maybe for sex. This is why people that are in relationships can sometimes take 1-2 years in between partners or even 2-3 years. Both sides normally ask to please be honest if it is a definite no by the 6th month.
There's nothing wrong with being friend zoned, and a lot of friendships start off as dates. The opposite is also true that some friendships turn into long term relationships.
Don't expect that a date that turned into a friendship will turn back into a date. This is rare and normally not advised to go back and forth on intuition.
Waiting Periods
Sometimes relationships legitimately don't work out within the first year and the couple has already had sex. Before the breakup, there is usually the dreaded question "How long do you wait in between partners?". During sex, people in relationship establish bonds, and while it is a rumor they often report feelings of anxiety or extreme depression when a partner is intimate with somebody else. Normally, they are not aware that the other person is being intimate during that time or even what they are doing. This is a rumor that has some validity.
The standard waiting period after being in a relationship for at least 90 days is approximtely 1-2 months and no less than 30-45 days. This can be frustrating for some people but they are normally able to work through the process. Once the waiting period has passed, they don't normally care if the former partner goes into a dating area or seeks another relationship but relationship areas will be weary of people that have reputations of finding new partners every 6 months.
Wating periods of 1-2 weeks are normally for people that are into "dating" but aren't quite "dating" yet. They may have a new partner every 3-6 months and wait 1-2 weeks before going out again, sometimes up to 1 month.
Dating areas
People tend not to keep track of numbers so much and definitely count by ranges most often. Less than 5, less than 20, between 30 and 50, or less than 100. Over 100, people tend not to keep track of at all but are able to make statistical estimates. When people go to a dating area, they are usually looking to have sex with someone that same evening or within 1-2 weeks. This can easily result in 30-50 partners within the first 1-2 years. For particularly popular newbies, 30 partners in 30 to 60 days is not impossible.
Besides the 5 second question on numbers. The next most popular set of questions, that take about 2 minutes, is the type of sex actitivies that a person likes. This can communicate risk for some people and a hesitancy or reluctance to participate in sexual activities that the other person may like. From there daters have their own questions and preferences that will vary depending on who they are talking to. They may not ask the same questions to two different people. If they don't ask and its an important question, then the question should be asked.
Health Statistics
Health data is more well understood than it was 50 years ago. There are a lot of medicines and anti-biotics in our foods and beverages and people are more aware of risks that can lead to an infection. This has reduced the number of bad health affects in dating areas even for people with extremely high numbers. Its important to self reflect on health precautions, preferences, and limits when seeking a "date" or a relationship. Its also worth considering the emotional connections that are established during sex, and whether they are short term, long term, or temporary and what the comfort level is before, during, and after waiting periods.